Whiskers on Kittens..

One of my favorite things of all time is when I see my uncle Steve and he says; "Hello Beautiful" or "Hey good-lookin".

I love it.
I love him.
I love my family.
I don't know why I get such a kick out of it. Maybe because I know he means it and I know how much he loves me so it matters just that much more.
It makes my week every time.

Introduction

December 24th, 1988

I'm writing this, not because I feel obligated, but because I believe the world deserves to know their stories other than myself. They never chose this life, I chose it for them and after that, they were stuck. Trapped even. Either way they never had enough guts to even try to get out so I never felt guilty. They were my freaks and I, their ringmaster. I made them famous for their disgusting disfigurements and they still hated me. But that is what I wanted all along, power. I wanted all of my freaks to hate and fear me because I knew that no matter what, they would stay with me because I was the only one in the entire world who made them feel even remotely special. They were special. Every single one of them.
Now and again I begin to pity them. Sure, I put them through some really tough challenges but they all came through every time.. All but one.. This is why I am writing this journal, so the world may learn of their struggles and appreciate them for what they truly were. Human beings. They were my family for 40 years and not a day goes by that I do not think of them. I never apologized, and I do not feel the need to. I took in a terrible group of misfits with no future and I made them stars and they repay me by.. Well.. You will see.. I gave them all the chances that they never dreamed of having and they still never thanked me.
Some say it is because the abuse or the cramped living quarters or the many days with no food. I think that I worked far too hard to experience such disrespect from a group of ingrates. Never trust a freak they say, and I agree. Anyway, I must get this off my chest. I have been holing it in for far too long. However, I must warn you now that these are not your run of the mill "happy stories". Every individual will have a different reaction. I do not want them to make you happy, I want them to inform you. I want them to teach you of a world that you will, hopefully, never have to experience. If you want to read stories of the wonderful thrill of the carnival, look elsewhere because this will not be your cup of tea.
You may think that I am the villain right now, but I loved them all and sooner or later, you will see it my way.

And the winner is..

Barack Obama.
Thank God.
I was literally crying. I'm finally proud to be an American.

Finally.

Fuck you blogspot

It just deleted my entire new blog that I just wrote.
I don't even feel like fucking writing it again.




God damnit.
Basically, my car is fucking broken again and my parents are making me feel like shit about it.

Dress Shopping.

Today was quite possibly one of the most exhausting days I've had in a long time.
First, I couldn't get to sleep until 3 am and then had to wake up at 8am.
Then I took a test, not so bad.
Then I had to face my other two classes.
Then.. I met my sister and mother at the mall to go dress shopping for my cousin's wedding.
Well.. Until today, I never realized how ashamed and embarrassed my mom is to have 2 overweight daughters. Her opinion is the one that matters the most and she is the one who has shoved me towards not loving myself.
Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children and how can those children even begin to love themselves if their God is embarrassed by them.
I'm sorry I'm not a size 2, I'm sorry I'm not even a size 10! I want to be thin so I can be beautiful in the eyes of society instead of only being beautiful when I see myself in the mirror. I'm embarrassed for my mother. I wish I was the way society thinks I should be.
Maybe I wouldn't feel so unaccepted by the one who's supposed to encourage me and make me love myself no matter what.
I hate the way this makes me feel. I love my mother more than anything in this entire world and to me, she's perfect. Why can't she feel the same way about me?
I'm tired of not being good enough.
I'm tired of not being thin enough or pretty enough or rich enough or nice enough or outgoing enough. But most of all, I'm tired of not loving myself enough to not be so damn self conscious.
Today, made me feel like shit.
This whole shebang will keep making me feel like shit. I hate that society has put a label on how everyone should look but most of all, I hate that everyone follows that.
I just want everyone to fucking accept the fact that not everyone in the world is cut out to be a size 2.
This is so ridiculous.







I found a dress anyway. And it was $168 and I don't care because it made me feel pretty..

Johnny's in the basement mixin' up the medicine.

Every evening is the same headache. I know that no matter how many pills I take, it will come back so I've just given up. I don't know where it comes from or why, but it does. Just like clock work, every evening I have a terrible pounding in my head that doesn't subside until I take something or go to sleep. This used to happen every night of sophomore year then junior year came and it only happened every now and then but then senior year came and it came back. Almost every night. Is it from stress? Do I bring it upon myself? Is it my wisdom teeth? Is it my eyes? I don't know, all I know is that it's quite a burden. I haven't gotten one when I'm driving yet but I know that it will most likely happen soon and I don't know what I'll do if it does.
Every evening is the same headache.
Out of nowhere.
With headaches, there isn't really a complete cure. If you have constant stomach aches, you can get medication and they will go away. It just seems like they're completely out of your hands to fix. The human body is a very confusing place.
Oh well, just gotta tough it out for another night.

This is such a waste of time and internet.
Dumb ass blog.
No one reads it anyway.








Nikki.

Raise your left hand if you feel any discomfort.

I hate going to the dentist. Not because I fear having a cavity or my teeth cleaned but simply because the idea of having a stranger feel around in my mouth for an hour really grosses me out. Also, it really irritates me when they try to talk to you when they're in your mouth up to their wrist.
"So, are you in school?" (As if I can answer) I attempt at a yeah but get a muffled "Hyeeaahh". As I sit in the dentist chair all I can think about is how terrible I must look lying down with my mouth open, drooling, with a lovely double chin in tact. It is very easy for me to get embarrassed and when the time came for the inevitable gob of spit to get stuck on the tooth polisher, I couldn't help but laugh and being that at that moment, good old Ron was the closest a male has been to my mouth since may, he heard me and said laughing, "That's completely normal, the toothpaste is really sticky."
I shudder to think why he thought I laughed.
Well, I left with my pride a bit tarnished but still in tact, for the most part.
Oh how I cannot wait to go to the gynecologist and experience yet another ridiculous situation that turns my cheeks red and gives me something to blog about.
Not.
Trust me, if that ever happens it will not be explicit.
you freaks.

Anyway, hallelujah for pearly whites and almost 19 years with no cavities.
until next time,

Nikki.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

here's lookin' at you kid.
Greatest movie ever.

I ran out of titles a long time ago.

I have been living inside of my head the past few days. I make up scenarios and I try to entertain myself and I think that I'm going crazy. I'm pretty positive that I need new friends, friends who actually want to spend time with me and can spend time with me and who will call me. It's not that I dislike my current friends, not at all I love them like family, but I need some change. However, I am afraid that I'm not interesting enough or outgoing enough to make new friends. It was so easy to make friends in elementary, middle, and high school and I have a terrible feeling that DVC will be drastically different.
I'm just worried. I'm worried about everything. I'm worried about my mental state, my physical state, my family situation, my friend situation.. Just my life situation in general.
I can't be positive anymore because I'm so worried..
It's terrible. I feel so bad about myself.
Fuck.



adieu,
Nikki

Future plans..

I want to write a book. I have my mind made up and I want to write a book. And not just a bullshit book, a legitimate book with substance that makes you think. I want to travel and experience life to its full extent and write about anything and everything I can come up with. I want someone to read it and set it down and say, "Wow.. That was a good book." and I don't care if only one person in the entire world reads it, as long as I'm happy with it and I'm proud of it, that's all that matters. I don't want it to change the world, but I do want it to change my life. I want it to enlighten one individual like me and change their life. I want to write a book.
I want to change myself with that book, but not in a bad way. I want it to help me grow up.


My next ambition, change the world.
And after that, change the universe.
And after that, have everything go back to normal and get married to a nice Scottish boy and pop out a few kids.

I've made up my mind.


adieu,
Nikki

Cellar Door

I think that my mental state has improved between the time of my last post and this one. I just have to come to terms with a few things, which I hate to do and that is why I have yet to do so. I just need someone unexpected to come back into my life or into it in general. Someone who knows nothing of my situation I have been dealing with so I can just vent to them, so I can just let it all out because I haven't been able to do that with most of my friends I've talked to about it. I love them for being there and they have exceeded my expectations but sometimes all you need is to talk to a stranger face to face and hope that they can help in some way. Aside from that, So far so good on project "Staying busy", which is helping a lot.
Well, another "clusterfuck", for lack of a better word, has jammed itself in between the line of mind numbing pain and mental restoration in my lovely family. Shit happens I guess and there's nothing I can do, or want to do for that matter. My best bet at the moment is to keep my mouth shut because it has definitely gotten me in trouble in the past with a few individuals from my afflicted family.
I know, as a reader, you couldn't care less about my ridiculous family and their ridiculous issues and I still don't know if anyone even reads what I write or listens to what I have to say but if you do, thank you.
I know one thing, I have to remain close with the ones I love and trust because once you let them slip away, even a little, they may do something that will hurt you tremendously and frankly, I'm sick and tired of being hurt and taken advantage of. I just hope that everything will take a turn for the better very soon because I'm frightened to see how much worse it can get.



until next time,
Nikki

Get me out of my mind..

I thought I was doing well.. But I'm not. Not in the least.
To make matters worse, my dog Bullseye, who was actually my late granfather's dog, is dying. I feel like getting in my car and just driving. I don't care where but somewhere, I have to go. I can't be here right now. I can't deal with any of this, It's like there's just no way for me to cope. I can't keep my mind off of it because that's all anyone talks about, the only way that I can be comforted right now is if I get my mind to travel somewhere where I don't have to hear or talk about my uncle's death or my uncle's memorial or my uncle's viewing or the fact that I'm being a terrible grand daughter by not visiting my grandparents yet.. I can't, I'm not strong enough. I can't do this right now.

Please wake up Nikki, wake up.. wake up..

You're only a day away..

Every day draws closer to closure. Every day draws closer to healing from this black cloud over my family. All I want to do is be the strong one but every day its gets harder and harder to keep it all together. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I feel like I don't know anything. I just want to wake up.. I want this all the be a horrible dream and I want to wake up, I want it to be over. Yesterday, when I was alone with my thoughts, I knew I had to go somewhere, anywhere, I just had to go. I wanted to go to a church and scream and cry and yell at God for doing this, I wanted to go somewhere where someone could give me a pill to forget everything, I wanted to go far far away and forget alllllll about the events of the day.. But I couldn't.. I went to Brooke's house because I knew she knows that I'm going through and she made me feel moderately better.

I sit here and I ask why? why did this happen to us? why now? why a week after graduation? I didn't even get a chance to give him my senior picture.. I didn't even get a chance to tell him my plans for my future.. I didn't get a chance to say good-bye.. none of us did.. The last time I saw my uncle was at Easter and I can't even remember the last thing I said to him. I kick myself for not spending more time with my family, for not checking up on them, for not visiting, for not calling.. For not being there..

So far, being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be. Every other time my mom's on the phone she's crying, every other time I look at my dad he has a blank stare on his face, every other time I see my sister she has a look of pain and sadness in her blue eyes, every other time I catch myself I'm thinking of him or the look on his son's face when he was told his father had died.. I can't see my cousins or my aunt or my grandparents but I know they need me.. I have to be strong, I can't cry every other time someone sees me, I can't have a blank stare every other time I'm looked at, my eyes can't be full of pain and sadness every time someone looks into them.. I have to be strong, I can only think, I can't show..
I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to do that, what then? I become human again, that's what.

Time will heal eventually, I just have to let it.. I can't put it in the back of my mind like last time. I have to come to terms with it.

I can't believe this happened..
Please let me wake up.. Let this be a horrible dream.. Wake up Nikki, wake up..

Unexpected Loss..

This morning, I was woken up by my mother crying and to the terrible news that my 39 year old Uncle Jamie had passed away in his sleep from what they believe to be a heart attack..
I was in shock.. I still am.. I can't believe it nor do I want to. I can't stop thinking about the 6 year old daughter and 12 year old son he left behind along with his amazing wife. His kids won't have their dad at their graduation or their weddings, they won't have a dad to watch them grow up or go to college.. It's not fair.
He was the youngest of 5 boys, my grandma lost her baby..
I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my father or my child and I don't want to.
I can't believe this happened. I only hope that I can be strong enough to push through this and I wish that his kids and wife can prevail in some way and carry on his memory.


hug your dad and tell him how much you love him because you never know when he's going to be gone..


adieu,
Nikki




R.I.P.
Jamie Franklin, I love you and I'll miss you until the day I die.

Band.

When I was in 8th grade, my decision to join high school band was firmly set on no but at the end of the year, I caved in and joined. Now, I'm not going to say that I loved every minute of it because I didn't. Our first teacher was a dick and our present teacher is a stubborn oasis of stink, whine, and bitchiness, I hate the stupid hats, I hate marching down the street in 90+ degree weather in wool, I hate how loudly my piccolo echos in my plastic Q-tip hat, I hate the 4 am call times, I hate the last minute concerts, I hate the stupid tuxedo shirt and cumber bund/ bowtie, I hate how dirty my flute gets, I hate Stuart, I hate not being taken seriously as a section leader, I hate the mosquitos at practice, I hate marching on the track, and I hate the colorguard(well the freshman atleast). However, Band is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Without it, I don't know what I would have done these past four years. I don't know what I'm going to do now that it's officially over. I can't imagine my life without it, and that's super nerdy. I love the relationships and friendships I have gained from participating in the John Swett band program and even if I won't be playing with those people anymore, they will always be in my heart. Forever. We're a family and I'm so happy I stuck with it.
I'm lame.
Atleast I didn't cry at the last concert like I cried at the last competition.
Shiiit.



adieu,
Nikki.

What an odd anniversary..

Today marks the one year anniversary of a certain someone breaking up with me.
On this day last year I was a very very sad girl. I don't want to remember who I was or how I felt then.. It was awful, and I was pathetic. I wish that I knew then what I know now about my then beau because mark my words, I wouldn't have been as upset. What came after this day from that individual was only worse and caused me more pain. I should have just taken the breakup. It's ridiculous how I felt about him and what he did. I'm ashamed that I wasted so much time and effort on him. I'm ashamed that he was my first love because they say you never forget the first one. I hate him terribly, I really do. I'm sure he hates me just as much so it's even.
I just want something to do so I won't have to remember what feelings this day brought last year. I don't miss him, not in the least bit, but I don't want to remember how it made me feel.. How HE made me feel on May 26, 2007.
Someone, come celebrate with me a year of freedom.
Get me the fuck away.



adieu,
Nikki

Life's no Storybook..

"Love's an excuse to get hurt, and to hurt.. Do you like to hurt? I do, I do. Then hurt me."

I can't let the words come out.
It isn't worth it.
I'm so confused..
I want a lover I don't have to love.
Maybe I don't.

"Your hands on me, Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know who else may have been you before.."

I have 2 weeks left to leave a lasting impression.
It seems like an impossibility.
One last chance to lose your keys, one last chance for me to say what I need to get off my chest.

"Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers they just play tragic
And the phone's ringing and the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching, let's just keep... keep singing..."


adieu,
Nikki

Viva La Vida

I'm beginning to see how amazing Coldplay is and I'm proud of myself. I have tried to stay away from their music until recently. I heard their new song on an ipod commercial and immediately went on itunes and bought it. It's so good. Go buy it now, It's called "Viva La Vida". Amazing.
Anywho,
Ignore the last blog. Some people just don't know how to be discrete about things. I'm embarrassed by it to tell you the truth but oh well. That's the family.

I saw a quote today. It was, "It's better to want something you don't have, than to have something you don't want." - Denny Crane. To me, that makes a lot of sense because when it comes down to it, the result is always worth the wait and if it wasn't then the wait isn't over. How I see things is you have to work your ass off to find something true and something that makes you mind-numbingly happy and when you find that something, you have accomplished something truly great. I'm looking for that but I have no idea where to find it. Graduation just keeps coming at me faster and faster each day. It seems like just yesterday I was in 8th grade. I love who I've become and I want someone to love me the way I am as much as I love the way I am. Maybe after high school I'll find it.. Who knows.. Same shit different day though.
well.. I have nothing else to write that won't seem redundant, completely off topic, or stupid high school bull shit so.. I'm going to stop writing this blog.
I keep listening to the new Coldplay song over and over again, it's so good haha.


adieu,
Nikki.

Dear Nosy family members and or friends..

Grandma Sandi is able to make it to my graduation.
I wrote that blog when I first found out that there was a possibility that she would not be able to make it and I was really upset.
This whole ordeal has ruined my day, I'll have you know, I cried at school today because of your foolishness. I cried on the shoulder of a friend because my family sold me out on something I said a long time ago at a time that I was really upset.
It is unfair that you thought it was your place to put me in this position. I already feel out of place in this family because it feels as if none of you have the capability to accept me the way I am but now, I'm the bratty grandchild who writes "mean" things about another cousin in her blog. I don't expect much, but I do expect respect and I'm not getting any. You are my family, not a spy who's sole job is to make me look bad and sell me out for misconstrued words on a website on the internet.
This has been completely blown out of proportion and I would enjoy it if you respected my wishes of staying out of my business. Next time you think, "hmmm, I'll go check up on Nikki's blogs.." please refrain because I don't need another issue tampering with my senior year in high school.
On occasion, I say the wrong things but I am only human and we all do that to a certain extent. In a way, I expect an apology but I have a strange feeling that I will not get one let alone someone who will fess up to this.
I created this blog so I could have an outlet to write how I felt and receive advice or words of wisdom from those who know more than I but all I got was an angry grandmother, salty eyes, and a faulty feeling of trust for people who I should trust no matter what.
I've learned a lot today.
All I can say is that I'm happy that I have the mother, father, and sister I do because they love me and accept me no matter what I say or do. They know how much it upset me and how I was feeling at the time so they understood why I wrote it. You, however, weren't there so you have no idea what was on my mind or the tip of my tongue at the time.
If you really are interested on reading someone else's blog, go too www.thematches.com/blog and read that one. It's interesting and it won't hurt one of your loved ones if you read it.
Well, that's all folks.
My business and my words are mine and I'm thankful everyday that I have to vocabulary to back them up.
The world is my soapbox and my words are all I have.


Check the first amendment by the way. It says nothing about taddling on someone for expressing how they feel.



adieu,
Nikki

Conundrum....

He got off too easy, but that's just me.

Anyway,
I'm stressed out. School's almost over and I'm not ready. I need more time. I need to do my psychology, I need to do my multimedia project, I need to get him, I need to spend more time with them, I need more support, I need to clear my fucking mind.
I'm bad at this.. I suck..
I wish I could read people's minds so I wouldn't have to guess at anything. No wait, I actually wish that people would fucking TALK and EXPLAIN things every once and a while.
BAH!
I really really need some time off. Or I just need more time with him or people I like in general. I had a nice talk with someone very unexpected today, a really nice talk. I like unexpected things, I like the little things in life, I like life.
I just want to explore, I just want to be happy, I just want to experience things, I just want it to work out.
Damn my insecurities!
This blog is stumbling all over itself and I have began to confuse myself.
At least it isn't about a fucking penguin who gets kneed in the beak by a jealous boyfriend named Jason..(Fuckin' Shawn Harris)
Until my next rant about being unnecessarily stressed out, Adieu.


<3: Nikki

Prom.

Prom was so much fun.
But sadly, it means "the best years of my life" are slowly dwindling away and that scares the shit out of me.
I don't know what I'm doing, Hollywood pretty much fell through.
I think a year off will do me some good, give me time to figure out me and what I want to do and who I want to be.
I'm too indecisive. I just keep changing my mind on everything.
"I'm ready to leave, I'm not ready to leave."
"I'll take any challenge that's thrown at me, I'm not ready to be challenged."
"I like him, I don't."
"I'm mad at my friends, I love them so much."

I don't know what I want, I don't know who I want, I don't know what I want to be.. I don't seem to know much of anything. I'm just lying to myself, I'm trying to convince my brain that I have all the time but in the end, I have 23 days. It sort of feels like a death sentence. Of course, I may be making it seem that way.
I've been waiting for so long to graduate and now that it's so close I'm not sure if I want it to be here anymore. I've met some amazing people this year who have always been right under my nose but never took the time to know and I'm not ready to be forgotten by them. I see myself as easy to forget and I hope that's not the case because everyone in my life means so much to me and I want to mean as much to them as they do to me.
This is difficult.
I can't get my mind around it.
This year went by fast.
It's trippin me out.
I don't know where I'm going to be next year.
This is really messing with my head..All this stress over a little 3 hour ceremony.
I don't do well with good-bye's or change for that matter.


..well, hug your mom and tell her how much she means to you because it's mother's day and she was nice enough to carry you around in her uterus for 9 months and forcefully push you out of a hole in her body. Don't be ungrateful.

adieu,
Nikki.

A recent discovery..

For the record, I had a hell of a time signing in this damn website just to FINALLY post a blog that I'm sure no one will read.
any whoot,

I was strolling around on myspace and I checked out this music page I had recently added. I added this fellows myspace because he is rather good-looking and I had hope that his music wasn't shit and actually, it is quite good. I urge you all to check him out, his name is Jer Coons and listen ladies, I'm VERY picky when it comes to boys and their looks and I added this one from just one glance and it's just a SUPER duper UBER plus that his music is great. Enjoy!

http://www.myspace.com/jercoons


I recommend the song "Legs" ; )


adieu,
Nikki

Graduation Announcements..

Today, we got our graduation announcements at school and I am very excited about graduating high school. I don't think I've ever been so excited about something to do with high school before and ironically, it's leaving it. Well, i brought them home to show my mom and this is what she said: "Six forty five!? Grandma definitely won't be able to make it.."
And I cried.. And I'm still crying.
This is my fucking graduation and she and my grandpa can't make it because they have to go to Tahoe the morning of graduation.. They can't wait a day?
They made it to my sister's graduation, why is mine so different?
Is my graduation less important than hers?
I'm sure they'll make it to my cousin Jeremy's graduation IF and when he graduates.
I've been working my ass off to get this far, I have a 3.83 GPA, and I'm actually TRYING in school.. It kills me that this is upsetting me this much but, sometimes I want to be important to them too. I'll have my mom, dad, and sister there, granted that my sister gets it off work. Excuse me but I had it in my head that graduating high school was kind of a big deal..
Oh well..
Graduation isn't important anyway....
That could possibly be the biggest lie I've ever told..

My Chemical Romance

Yesterday, I attended the My Chemical Romance concert at the Warfield in San Francisco.
As we were beginning our tortuous wait in line, an angry street dweller was being rather rude to everyone and called myself and the rest of the line retards. When he finally left, he called us all rejects. Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black then I don't know what is because last time I checked I had a home to live in and I didn't wet myself on a street corner..But that's just me.
Anway, it got to being around 5:30 pm and my mother showed up because she was also attending the concert. Does that seem weird to you? Well let me explain, my mother puts up with the music I listen to on a daily basis and it just so happens that she really likes My Chemical Romance so as I was using her credit card to order the tickets, she and my sister got 2 balcony tickets while myself and 2 of my friends got pit tickets.
The doors opened at 6:30 pm and that was the last that I saw of my mother and sister until after the show. I said, "Bye mom, bye pooh! love you!" and disappeared through the doors to the floor. Drive By did well, Billy Talent did well, and then there was My Chem..
If you don't like them, i respect your opinion but strongly disagree with it. They are one of the best live bands I've ever seen and I have seen many bands including The Smashing Pumpkins (I'm not complaining or bad talking their show whatsoever, I'm simply showing my range of artists I have seen). As a frontman, Gerard Way is perfect. Bob, Frank, Ray, and Mikey are perfect as musicians. They as a band, are perfect.
Their energy is impeccable and their sound is great.
They give me hope for music today, they give me hope for myself.
I'm rambling, but if you were there you would understand.

That's it..
You should see them once in your life.
Even if you don't like them.

Old Greg

I think the whole world should view this ridiculous video.

Watch it all the way through.



your welcome.
Love,
Nikki Siverson

R.I.P. Mr.Abar

David Robert Abar was a teacher at my school, John Swett High School, and he was killed by a drunk driver Saturday March 22, 2008 while crossing in a crosswalk.
I never had him for a teacher personally but I've heard nothing but great things from his students. He was a huge asset to our school in every way. As a teacher, as a friend, and as a person.
His memorial ceremony was held in the auditorium today and although his family is still suffering from this tragedy, they were very optimistic and caring toward the students.
I wish the family his best and I know that somewhere Mr.Abar is listening to Van Halen and watching baseball.
He will be greatly missed.

Williams Syndrome

Today in my wonderful psychology class, which is taught by the best teacher to ever walk this earth Michael Kinsley, we learned about this type of mental retardation called "Williams Syndrome".
It really is quite fascinating. It causes the person to be very social and talkative but have extreme difficulties with deepening their relationships with people. It's like they know everyone but can count very few friends. They can hold a conversation but can't take the hints at the end of that conversation. They don't understand facial expressions or body language or anything like that, which is very frustrating for them and causes great stress on their emotional being.
Williams syndrome is only found in about 1/7500 births and it effects both male and females equally. It is genetic and occurs when the double helix of DNA splits and about 25 genes are lost. So when the half of the DNA groups with the other parents DNA it's impossible to function correctly because there are 25 missing genes..
This form of mental retardation is often linked with the "elfin" look so that the people with this syndrome appear elf-like and cheerful. Williams shares some characteristics with autism in that, they both express difficulty with understanding numbers and puzzles and such. Most adults with Williams can't even solve a 6 piece jigsaw puzzle.
Now, although we all love a good conversation most conversations held under Williams syndrome are awkward and very elongated. They tend to interrupt and drag on without end.
It is really fascinating..
I just can't seem to get my head around it. It's as if, sure I would love to always have something to talk about but the people who suffer from this syndrome can never really have real deep and meaningful relationships. It's like, they know everyone around them but aren't their friends.. It's very sad and must be frustrating. It's learning about things like this that make me cherish not suffering from something like that. I feel for all the people who do and for all the families who take care of them and I wish them nothing but the best in their lives and I want them all the know that they are all perfect and special in their own little way and they have a spot in our world.
I just wish more people saw it that way..
Sometimes, all we need is a packet of paper in a high school psychology class to help us see how fortunate we really are.

well..
that's it folks.
I urge you to look up more on this fascinating syndrome, you may be surprised.

So I'm a blogger now..

Well, shit happens I suppose.
I'm just sick of writing on myspace.

Anywho, I promise I'll have more interesting posts later on.