Cellar Door

I think that my mental state has improved between the time of my last post and this one. I just have to come to terms with a few things, which I hate to do and that is why I have yet to do so. I just need someone unexpected to come back into my life or into it in general. Someone who knows nothing of my situation I have been dealing with so I can just vent to them, so I can just let it all out because I haven't been able to do that with most of my friends I've talked to about it. I love them for being there and they have exceeded my expectations but sometimes all you need is to talk to a stranger face to face and hope that they can help in some way. Aside from that, So far so good on project "Staying busy", which is helping a lot.
Well, another "clusterfuck", for lack of a better word, has jammed itself in between the line of mind numbing pain and mental restoration in my lovely family. Shit happens I guess and there's nothing I can do, or want to do for that matter. My best bet at the moment is to keep my mouth shut because it has definitely gotten me in trouble in the past with a few individuals from my afflicted family.
I know, as a reader, you couldn't care less about my ridiculous family and their ridiculous issues and I still don't know if anyone even reads what I write or listens to what I have to say but if you do, thank you.
I know one thing, I have to remain close with the ones I love and trust because once you let them slip away, even a little, they may do something that will hurt you tremendously and frankly, I'm sick and tired of being hurt and taken advantage of. I just hope that everything will take a turn for the better very soon because I'm frightened to see how much worse it can get.



until next time,
Nikki