Get me out of my mind..

I thought I was doing well.. But I'm not. Not in the least.
To make matters worse, my dog Bullseye, who was actually my late granfather's dog, is dying. I feel like getting in my car and just driving. I don't care where but somewhere, I have to go. I can't be here right now. I can't deal with any of this, It's like there's just no way for me to cope. I can't keep my mind off of it because that's all anyone talks about, the only way that I can be comforted right now is if I get my mind to travel somewhere where I don't have to hear or talk about my uncle's death or my uncle's memorial or my uncle's viewing or the fact that I'm being a terrible grand daughter by not visiting my grandparents yet.. I can't, I'm not strong enough. I can't do this right now.

Please wake up Nikki, wake up.. wake up..