He got off too easy, but that's just me.
Anyway,
I'm stressed out. School's almost over and I'm not ready. I need more time. I need to do my psychology, I need to do my multimedia project, I need to get him, I need to spend more time with them, I need more support, I need to clear my fucking mind.
I'm bad at this.. I suck..
I wish I could read people's minds so I wouldn't have to guess at anything. No wait, I actually wish that people would fucking TALK and EXPLAIN things every once and a while.
BAH!
I really really need some time off. Or I just need more time with him or people I like in general. I had a nice talk with someone very unexpected today, a really nice talk. I like unexpected things, I like the little things in life, I like life.
I just want to explore, I just want to be happy, I just want to experience things, I just want it to work out.
Damn my insecurities!
This blog is stumbling all over itself and I have began to confuse myself.
At least it isn't about a fucking penguin who gets kneed in the beak by a jealous boyfriend named Jason..(Fuckin' Shawn Harris)
Until my next rant about being unnecessarily stressed out, Adieu.
<3: Nikki
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Prom.
Prom was so much fun.
But sadly, it means "the best years of my life" are slowly dwindling away and that scares the shit out of me.
I don't know what I'm doing, Hollywood pretty much fell through.
I think a year off will do me some good, give me time to figure out me and what I want to do and who I want to be.
I'm too indecisive. I just keep changing my mind on everything.
"I'm ready to leave, I'm not ready to leave."
"I'll take any challenge that's thrown at me, I'm not ready to be challenged."
"I like him, I don't."
"I'm mad at my friends, I love them so much."
I don't know what I want, I don't know who I want, I don't know what I want to be.. I don't seem to know much of anything. I'm just lying to myself, I'm trying to convince my brain that I have all the time but in the end, I have 23 days. It sort of feels like a death sentence. Of course, I may be making it seem that way.
I've been waiting for so long to graduate and now that it's so close I'm not sure if I want it to be here anymore. I've met some amazing people this year who have always been right under my nose but never took the time to know and I'm not ready to be forgotten by them. I see myself as easy to forget and I hope that's not the case because everyone in my life means so much to me and I want to mean as much to them as they do to me.
This is difficult.
I can't get my mind around it.
This year went by fast.
It's trippin me out.
I don't know where I'm going to be next year.
This is really messing with my head..All this stress over a little 3 hour ceremony.
I don't do well with good-bye's or change for that matter.
..well, hug your mom and tell her how much she means to you because it's mother's day and she was nice enough to carry you around in her uterus for 9 months and forcefully push you out of a hole in her body. Don't be ungrateful.
adieu,
Nikki.
But sadly, it means "the best years of my life" are slowly dwindling away and that scares the shit out of me.
I don't know what I'm doing, Hollywood pretty much fell through.
I think a year off will do me some good, give me time to figure out me and what I want to do and who I want to be.
I'm too indecisive. I just keep changing my mind on everything.
"I'm ready to leave, I'm not ready to leave."
"I'll take any challenge that's thrown at me, I'm not ready to be challenged."
"I like him, I don't."
"I'm mad at my friends, I love them so much."
I don't know what I want, I don't know who I want, I don't know what I want to be.. I don't seem to know much of anything. I'm just lying to myself, I'm trying to convince my brain that I have all the time but in the end, I have 23 days. It sort of feels like a death sentence. Of course, I may be making it seem that way.
I've been waiting for so long to graduate and now that it's so close I'm not sure if I want it to be here anymore. I've met some amazing people this year who have always been right under my nose but never took the time to know and I'm not ready to be forgotten by them. I see myself as easy to forget and I hope that's not the case because everyone in my life means so much to me and I want to mean as much to them as they do to me.
This is difficult.
I can't get my mind around it.
This year went by fast.
It's trippin me out.
I don't know where I'm going to be next year.
This is really messing with my head..All this stress over a little 3 hour ceremony.
I don't do well with good-bye's or change for that matter.
..well, hug your mom and tell her how much she means to you because it's mother's day and she was nice enough to carry you around in her uterus for 9 months and forcefully push you out of a hole in her body. Don't be ungrateful.
adieu,
Nikki.
Friday, May 2, 2008
A recent discovery..
For the record, I had a hell of a time signing in this damn website just to FINALLY post a blog that I'm sure no one will read.
any whoot,
I was strolling around on myspace and I checked out this music page I had recently added. I added this fellows myspace because he is rather good-looking and I had hope that his music wasn't shit and actually, it is quite good. I urge you all to check him out, his name is Jer Coons and listen ladies, I'm VERY picky when it comes to boys and their looks and I added this one from just one glance and it's just a SUPER duper UBER plus that his music is great. Enjoy!
http://www.myspace.com/jercoons
I recommend the song "Legs" ; )
adieu,
Nikki
any whoot,
I was strolling around on myspace and I checked out this music page I had recently added. I added this fellows myspace because he is rather good-looking and I had hope that his music wasn't shit and actually, it is quite good. I urge you all to check him out, his name is Jer Coons and listen ladies, I'm VERY picky when it comes to boys and their looks and I added this one from just one glance and it's just a SUPER duper UBER plus that his music is great. Enjoy!
http://www.myspace.com/jercoons
I recommend the song "Legs" ; )
adieu,
Nikki
Monday, April 7, 2008
Graduation Announcements..
Today, we got our graduation announcements at school and I am very excited about graduating high school. I don't think I've ever been so excited about something to do with high school before and ironically, it's leaving it. Well, i brought them home to show my mom and this is what she said: "Six forty five!? Grandma definitely won't be able to make it.."
And I cried.. And I'm still crying.
This is my fucking graduation and she and my grandpa can't make it because they have to go to Tahoe the morning of graduation.. They can't wait a day?
They made it to my sister's graduation, why is mine so different?
Is my graduation less important than hers?
I'm sure they'll make it to my cousin Jeremy's graduation IF and when he graduates.
I've been working my ass off to get this far, I have a 3.83 GPA, and I'm actually TRYING in school.. It kills me that this is upsetting me this much but, sometimes I want to be important to them too. I'll have my mom, dad, and sister there, granted that my sister gets it off work. Excuse me but I had it in my head that graduating high school was kind of a big deal..
Oh well..
Graduation isn't important anyway....
That could possibly be the biggest lie I've ever told..
And I cried.. And I'm still crying.
This is my fucking graduation and she and my grandpa can't make it because they have to go to Tahoe the morning of graduation.. They can't wait a day?
They made it to my sister's graduation, why is mine so different?
Is my graduation less important than hers?
I'm sure they'll make it to my cousin Jeremy's graduation IF and when he graduates.
I've been working my ass off to get this far, I have a 3.83 GPA, and I'm actually TRYING in school.. It kills me that this is upsetting me this much but, sometimes I want to be important to them too. I'll have my mom, dad, and sister there, granted that my sister gets it off work. Excuse me but I had it in my head that graduating high school was kind of a big deal..
Oh well..
Graduation isn't important anyway....
That could possibly be the biggest lie I've ever told..
Saturday, April 5, 2008
My Chemical Romance
Yesterday, I attended the My Chemical Romance concert at the Warfield in San Francisco.
As we were beginning our tortuous wait in line, an angry street dweller was being rather rude to everyone and called myself and the rest of the line retards. When he finally left, he called us all rejects. Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black then I don't know what is because last time I checked I had a home to live in and I didn't wet myself on a street corner..But that's just me.
Anway, it got to being around 5:30 pm and my mother showed up because she was also attending the concert. Does that seem weird to you? Well let me explain, my mother puts up with the music I listen to on a daily basis and it just so happens that she really likes My Chemical Romance so as I was using her credit card to order the tickets, she and my sister got 2 balcony tickets while myself and 2 of my friends got pit tickets.
The doors opened at 6:30 pm and that was the last that I saw of my mother and sister until after the show. I said, "Bye mom, bye pooh! love you!" and disappeared through the doors to the floor. Drive By did well, Billy Talent did well, and then there was My Chem..
If you don't like them, i respect your opinion but strongly disagree with it. They are one of the best live bands I've ever seen and I have seen many bands including The Smashing Pumpkins (I'm not complaining or bad talking their show whatsoever, I'm simply showing my range of artists I have seen). As a frontman, Gerard Way is perfect. Bob, Frank, Ray, and Mikey are perfect as musicians. They as a band, are perfect.
Their energy is impeccable and their sound is great.
They give me hope for music today, they give me hope for myself.
I'm rambling, but if you were there you would understand.
That's it..
You should see them once in your life.
Even if you don't like them.
As we were beginning our tortuous wait in line, an angry street dweller was being rather rude to everyone and called myself and the rest of the line retards. When he finally left, he called us all rejects. Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black then I don't know what is because last time I checked I had a home to live in and I didn't wet myself on a street corner..But that's just me.
Anway, it got to being around 5:30 pm and my mother showed up because she was also attending the concert. Does that seem weird to you? Well let me explain, my mother puts up with the music I listen to on a daily basis and it just so happens that she really likes My Chemical Romance so as I was using her credit card to order the tickets, she and my sister got 2 balcony tickets while myself and 2 of my friends got pit tickets.
The doors opened at 6:30 pm and that was the last that I saw of my mother and sister until after the show. I said, "Bye mom, bye pooh! love you!" and disappeared through the doors to the floor. Drive By did well, Billy Talent did well, and then there was My Chem..
If you don't like them, i respect your opinion but strongly disagree with it. They are one of the best live bands I've ever seen and I have seen many bands including The Smashing Pumpkins (I'm not complaining or bad talking their show whatsoever, I'm simply showing my range of artists I have seen). As a frontman, Gerard Way is perfect. Bob, Frank, Ray, and Mikey are perfect as musicians. They as a band, are perfect.
Their energy is impeccable and their sound is great.
They give me hope for music today, they give me hope for myself.
I'm rambling, but if you were there you would understand.
That's it..
You should see them once in your life.
Even if you don't like them.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Old Greg
I think the whole world should view this ridiculous video.
Watch it all the way through.
your welcome.
Love,
Nikki Siverson
Watch it all the way through.
your welcome.
Love,
Nikki Siverson
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
R.I.P. Mr.Abar
David Robert Abar was a teacher at my school, John Swett High School, and he was killed by a drunk driver Saturday March 22, 2008 while crossing in a crosswalk.
I never had him for a teacher personally but I've heard nothing but great things from his students. He was a huge asset to our school in every way. As a teacher, as a friend, and as a person.
His memorial ceremony was held in the auditorium today and although his family is still suffering from this tragedy, they were very optimistic and caring toward the students.
I wish the family his best and I know that somewhere Mr.Abar is listening to Van Halen and watching baseball.
He will be greatly missed.
I never had him for a teacher personally but I've heard nothing but great things from his students. He was a huge asset to our school in every way. As a teacher, as a friend, and as a person.
His memorial ceremony was held in the auditorium today and although his family is still suffering from this tragedy, they were very optimistic and caring toward the students.
I wish the family his best and I know that somewhere Mr.Abar is listening to Van Halen and watching baseball.
He will be greatly missed.
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